Especially if you’re planning to say something that’s blatantly going to offend your other half. I wouldn’t point out the fact that you obviously haven’t showered in a few days, so why do you need to point out that maybe my jeans are just a little bit too tight today?
Here are 15 things girls never want to hear their boyfriends say:
1. We need to talk
No. Just no. This is the absolute worst. Just say what you’re thinking straight out, the waiting game for what could potentially be horrible news is the worst thing you can do to a girl. Especially if you’re an over-thinker!
2. Did you just fart?
Yes. Yes, I did actually. And now that you’ve pointed it out, you are now going to be in the wrath of it. Don’t underestimate my bodily functions.
3. Love you
Either go full out with ‘I love you’ or don’t bother. Especially when you say it to your friends, also. We spend too much time figuring out what exactly that means.
4. I’m just going to stay in on my Xbox
Sure, spend all day on your Xbox when we don’t have plans. But, when I’ve taken the time to invite you out to something nice, please don’t blow me off for the video games that you have all of tomorrow night to spend playing!
5. Did you put on some weight?
Is there a need to point out that yes I obviously have been eating a lot of McDonald’s lately? Chances are, I’ve already noticed it myself.
6. Don’t worry, you’ve only gained a little bit!
Honesty is the best policy. But when my confidence is at an all-time low, maybe, just maybe, a little white lie would be that much better.
7. Sorry, I ate it all
The ultimate nightmare. When you’ve spent all day at work looking forward to coming home to a huge slice of chocolate cake, only to find the plate scattered with a few crumbs. Awful.
8. Wanna go halves?
Sure, if we’re out for a coffee or something. But when you’ve invited me out for dinner, I expected it to be a treat.
9. We need to take a break
Is it not just common sense anymore that breaks don’t work? If you’re more interested in going off to explore what you really want, please don’t involve me in that.
10. I watched it without you!
We’re on the last season of Dexter with just two episodes to go. Why did you not just wait? How could you do this to me? What about everything you promised?
11. I don’t like your new hair cut
If you’ve gone from hair beneath your waist to hair just above your shoulders, you’re probably still contemplating whether you like it or not. How am I supposed to get used to this life-changing aspect without the support of another?
12. Are you on your period or something?
We are allowed to be angry at you when you do something douchey, you know. Stop blaming your wrongdoings on my menstruation.
13. Wow, you eat a lot
Yes, and I’m going to eat some more.
14. I don’t like your friends
Ah, well then we have an issue. Ever heard the phrase ‘chicks before d***s?’
15. Your orgasm face is hilarious
Now that’s just nasty. Especially when I was trying so damn hard to be sexy.
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